I grew up very active in the church and quite believing. I tried to do everything right. To the outside I was a model member, seemingly obeying the commandments, being an excellent student and also excelling in athletics. But starting at puberty there was one habit that I struggled with: masturbation. I loathed myself for…
My story I remember being really nervous at bishops interviews as a youth because the prevailing belief was that bishops could ask ANY question they wanted because they were Gods’ representative and inspired and therefore refusing was considered rebelling against God. I. along with all my friends, dreaded those interviews. When asked if I had…
Ugh, this is hard. I’m not really used to telling my story. But if I can help one child… I was born into an extremely devout Mormon family. Extremely devout. We were never talked to about sex, nor about avoiding or reporting sexual abuse. Unfortunately, my older brothers and sisters were the victims of sexual…
I hesitated to write my story because I wasn’t sexually abused. I decided to write it though, because my experience around these interviews has been a big contributor to my depression and constant feelings of shame. I remember my first orgasm at 12 years old. I was downstairs watching TV and I was flipping through…
The mission and stories of this website have validated my pain and my experience. This validation has brought about so much healing in my heart. This validation has empowered me to finally stand up to my shame and to stand up to the beliefs, people, and experiences which generated and nurtured my shame and say…
Bishop and church GA’s shaming over masturbation caused me such self loathing over my inability to remain “pure” that I suffered from deep depression and frequent contemplation of suicide for most of my teen years. I blamed my depression on my wickedness (as the church taught), but could not stop the vicious cycle. It was…
I was born in Salt Lake City, raised LDS. I’m 34 now. I have been atheist for almost a decade. Around 14 I experimented with another boy. I had my worthiness interview with the bishop. When asked if I keep The Law of Chastity I tearfully confessed to what I had been taught was a…
My boyfriend and I had sex at the age of 17 for the first time after being together for almost a year. Before that I had never so much as gone to second base or “abused” myself with masturbation. I had an overwhelming feeling of shame and guilt and knew the only relief would come…
Sam, July 2nd of 2017 was the first day I had been sober in over a decade. Between drugs and alcohol I had a heavy regiment of self-medication. There was good reason for that self-medicating. I continue that sobriety and am on day 205 as I compile this story the best I can. 2 1/2…
I was eight years old when I was sexually abused, I didn’t even understand what had happened really, I just knew it felt wrong and scary. I was very confused and somehow decided it was my fault because I had been baptized. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened, I was ashamed, I thought no…