I’d been molested by a neighborhood boy when I was young. Got Baptized LDS. Moved out of state. Forward years later. I’m 15 and have my first boyfriend. We are kissing and petting at that age. My mom found out and called our Bishop. When I got home from school one day mom told me…
When I was 12 I had my first temple worthiness interview. The bishop asked me if I followed the law of chastity. He said, do you know what that is? I told him no. he said, “it means have you touched yourself or let other people touch you?” I could tell the correct answer to…
I can’t remember certain aspects of my early childhood. This is important, because my biological father allegedly molested or abused my sister and I. We were only 2 or 3 years of age. Whatever was going on then made my mother bolt, almost literally. I have family members who share quite a bit more with…
When I was 14 or 15 years old my mother caught me with pornography. It happens. Because of my LDS upbringing I was terrified and I thought my life was over. I expected my dad to come home and beat me till my bones broke everyday for the rest of my life. Most indiscretions were…
I felt like my mind and my body were never my own. I was property of the church. My mind, body, identity, worthiness, and authority were taken from me through coercion, threats, extreme social pressure, and ritualistic abuse. It’s been so damaging to me. I’m still trying to piece myself back together. It’s heartbreaking to…
I feel hurt and betrayed. I gave my heart and soul to this church and the lack of boundaries and policies and teachings around immorality/chastity/modesty/worthiness interviews of this institution have caused me so much psychological, emotional, and mental pain and suffering. There were no boundaries. It was confusing. It was scary. It was horrible. It…
Growing up in the LDS church I was always compared to my older sister, she was the perfect mormon girl and I was just me, so because of that I had a lot of meetings with my bishops growing up. Many of these meetings are hazy to me now (even though they were not that…
From the time I was 12 to 15, when I moved to another town, I had rumors spread about me by other girls in my ward. I was just starting to remember the childhood sexual abuse I had suffered so my view on sex and healthy relationships was skewed. My bishop at the time would…
I am a Therapist-Survivor of ritualistic abuse and mind control, that involved at least two of my bishops as perpetrators, and two of my stake presidents. The document below is a document I wrote with the help and edits of a psychologist friend who has advocated and supported survivors for almost 4 decades. While my…
I was 12 years old when I started masturbating. I felt like the scum of the earth. I don’t know how to describe how much guilt and self loathing that I felt until the age of 27 (I’m 28 now). I really felt like I was the worst person in the world that I didn’t…