When I was 15, I was living in California and in a relationship with a non-LDS boy. One day, he forced himself on me. He was very manipulative and convinced me that I had been asking for it and that I needed him. I was heart broken and felt broken myself. I felt that my…
I grew up in an abusive home. I was raped for the first time when I was 7. I spent decades trying to convince my “leaders” that it wasn’t my fault. They insisted that I must have done something and I needed to repent (after all, what’s the point of a worthiness interview if you…
I was born into and grew up in a very strict Mormon family. My mom had this view of the world that the less you knew about sinful, harmful stuff, the better. So when I was 11 and I got “the talk”, it lasted about 4 minutes. I knew what sex organs were, and roughly…
I started attending the LDS church when I was eleven years old right after my parent’s divorced. Growing up in the church I was given many lessons likening my sexual purity to my worth as a person. I was given an object lesson at the age of twelve where my beehive leader held up a…
My story isn’t necessarily traumatic (I’ve read FAR worse on here), though it can vouch for the negative effects that private worthiness interviews and shame culture have on developing youth and young adults. As a young girl in elementary school, I stumbled across pornography through unrelated internet searches. I didn’t know exactly what I was…
I was in my teens when I started masturbating. My bishop at the time was very much interested in emphasizing how sinful masturbation was. He regularly visited my Young Women’s classes and instructed us on the importance of seeing a priesthood leadership should we ever do it. I felt immense guilt and shame and avoided…
I was 11 when a cousin 4 years older than me began sexually abusing me. It went on every summer for 3 years, worsening each year as he viewed stronger porn and got braver about his demands for me. He began to threaten me with physical pain if I wouldn’t comply. He was an “upstanding…
I’ve always been interested in love. My whole life has been spent loving love, and naturally that love, as a child, was placed in God. As I grew older, I began to become interested with the sexual parts of my life, as a natural process of discovering myself. So, I slowly brought myself into the…
When I was a child, I considered suicide as an alternative route to admitting to a bishop a “sexual sin” I had committed a few years prior. I remember the shame was so great that I would often cry myself to sleep with fear of the eternal damnation I was constantly told would be my…
I am in the process of writing my story about the sexual issues and shaming that happened within the church. It’s really hard to do. I’ve been in therapy for years, and it still sucks. I still feel lost with it. There are so many facets to it. Like old neighbor men asking about my…