#747 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,7,8. Other: It in a way normalized the sexual abuse going on in my life already. It sort of set this ideal for men in my mind as being sexual deviants in a strange sort of way.

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I can’t remember exactly how old I was I want to say, 12 or 13… I know is was quite Young. I was called into the bishops office for an interview so I could go do baptisms for the dead on our Temple trip coming up (as my parents wanted). I remember one of the…

#744 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I used to live with legal guardian parents Michael and Judy and their two kids, and I only stayed with them because they lived in the area where the school I needed to go. My parents were not well off, they couldn’t move a few hours down, so the Mormon community was more than happy…

#742 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7. Other: Severe Clinical Depression

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

As the only member in my family, I’ve fought hard to carve a path for myself in this church. As a 15 year old new member I had already experienced sex and reigning in all my previous experience was hard. I was not accustomed to accountability, least of all to men I didn’t have a…

#741 Arlene C. CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I debated for many months whether or not to share my story. It is not as bad as many of the early stories that I read that broke my heart. I was asked inappropriate questions by my bishops. At the age of 17, I experienced a date rape, although that term wasn’t coined yet to…

#739 Mandy L. CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8. Other: Inability to form secure romantic relationships

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 10. Suicide of a loved one or friend, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I was something of a perfectionist as a child with a strong desire to please God and my family. My youthful guilt dwelled on typical experiences, amounting to no more than childhood disagreements and misunderstandings. One focus of my guilt, which went beyond the norm, was my theft of a pack of gum. My sister…

#738 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

Incentivize me to lie. Teach me to hate myself. When in my teens, I was asked if and how often I would masturbate. As a young kid, I didn’t have the right understanding or language to answer accurately. I learned to hate a part of myself. I felt like I was living a double life…

#737 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

When I 14 years old my mom caught me looking at pornography. Because of this my parents made me meet with our Bishop. I did not feel comfortable doing this but at the time felt that it was what I had to do really, because my parents told me I had to. My meeting with…

#735 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,5,6,7,8,9

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, 9. Attempted Suicide, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I’ve been wanting to share with you my experience with the baptismal interview I had at the age of 10. I was currently being sexually abused by a close family member. The Bishop worthiness interview is something I’ll never forget. When he asked me if I was having sex with family members, I froze. I…

#732 Name Hidden. CS: 1,3,6,7,10

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 10. Suicide of a loved one or friend, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

When I was 16, I had sex with my boy friend, my bishop at the time told me that no worthy return missionary would ever have me. DEVASTATING my world! The SHAME was overwhelming! My hopes/dreams in all that I’d been taught/molded to live for!!! Within 2 years I had ‘found’ an older (18 YEARS…

#731 Kristine D.K. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Other: PTSD, anxiety, persistent nightmares

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 10. Suicide of a loved one or friend, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, 9. Attempted Suicide, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

Around my eighth birthday I was excited to be baptized. The plan was my father would baptize me. Both he and my grandfather would be there on Sunday for confirmation. Since I was born in April, it felt good to be joining the ranks of my older classmates. I don’t remember exactly which day the…