#139 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,6,7

When I was fifteen and sixteen, I became involved with a man who was ten years my senior. He was sexually abusive and would be sexual with me despite my protests. This went on for two years. I became very insolated and dependent on him and felt helpless to end the abuse cycle. I talked…

#138 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

My story starts in a place I imagine many stories start. In the bath tub. It was around five years old that I first discovered that playing with myself felt really good. It was also the beginning of a childhood wracked with intense guilt, shame and self loathing. “Dinkin” around in the bath, I heard…

#137 Name Hidden. CS: 1,3,6,7

When I turned 16, I had my bishops interview for a temple recommend. I was asked if I had sexual intercourse and when I said yes, my whole world fell apart. My bishop wanted to know who the boy was. I didn’t want to tell. I knew it was not appropriate and it was not…

#135 Rachael CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8,9. Other: Shamed, rather than helped, after a rape

I was sexually abused at age 4 and again at age 7 by members of the Church. I learned early that extreme compliance was the way to keep safe. I was also raised to believe that bishops represented God in everything they said and did and that I could not be forgiven without seeing a…

#134 Kip K. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

We moved to a new ward when I was 13 and I discovered masturbation shortly after that.  I didn’t discuss it with anyone, but I gleaned enough context around the topic from friends and the church’s teachings on sex that I felt guilty and felt the only way to repent was through confession to the…

#133 Heidi H. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

There are three bishops whom had the authority to declare the validity to my self worthiness: from taking the sacrament to going through the temple and onto serve a mission. The second bishop, whom I knew since the age of 6 was my best friend’s father. I shared family dinners with him, slept over at…

#132 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

At 17, I was repeatedly asked specific questions by my bishop when I went in to confess the things I had done. I was asked whether I spit or swallowed. I was asked whether or not I masturbated, how often, and what I used. I was required to visit with him weekly and sometimes twice…

#131 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

When I was 17 I went to see my bishop after I felt my boyfriend and I had gone too far physically. He did ask me very specific details and also what I had done to encourage this and if I felt it was OK to exhibit that type of behavior around a son of…

#129 L.R. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8,9

I was ten. I stumbled across porn for the first time, and had kept it a secret from my parents as I knew they would be ashamed in me if they knew their child was bisexual. I had always considered myself to be a more mature child, and I had heard that finding and occasionally…

#124 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7

I am a fairly sensitive person that also deals with a guilty conscience, and as a young man in the church those interviews caused many years of psychological damage on my developing mind. The guilt and shame I dealt with almost destroyed my self-confidence and self-worth, all because I was normal, I had hormones, I…