I had recently moved out of state to attend college when I was caught up in a sexual situation with a man in my dorm room. I performed oral sex on him and there were heavy petting and all of that stuff. After it happened I immediately was overcome with guilt. I made an appointment…
It was the late 80’s and I was about 4 years old. My mom was driving with only me in the car and I recognized that we were near the bishop’s house, as he babysat us quite frequently. I asked, excitedly, if we were going there and she said no and asked what we do…
My story began growing up not only being molested by an older neighbor, but also in a house full of siblings who had all learned throughout their childhood how to masturbate with themselves and with each other. It was a sickness that slowly trickling down to every child born into the household. I was the…
When I was 16, I started dating a boy in my ward. I fell hard and fast, and really believed I was in love with him. 3 months into our relationship, he started pushing the envelope sexually. He kept pushing me and pushing me to have sex. One day, he picked me up from school…
I was raped when I was 17 by the Stake President’s 22 year old RM son. I was terrified to say anything to anyone because I was afraid I would be punished. When I finally told my parents, they helped me report it to the police, the police told me they didn’t believe me and…
Local church leaders conduct worthiness interviews with their members, even the children. Every child in a Mormon congregation will have at least one interview with the presiding member of their congregation (Bishop or branch president) at age 7-8, and several more from the age of 11 to 18 prior to temple attendance or full-time missionary…
“’You asked me once,’ said O’Brien, ‘what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.’” -1984 by George Orwell. Those words hit me to my core when I read 1984 in my senior…
During one of my earliest worthiness interviews as an adolescent, the interviewer asked if I masturbated. I needed a definition because I hadn’t experienced it yet. Then I was asked, “Have you ever tried to have sex with an animal?” (I don’t remember if they said bestiality first and then had to define it when…
I did not realize until I started typing how difficult this might be to share. I am flooded with so many emotions. I grew up in a very devout Mormon family. I was never sexually abused, but for some reason I discovered my sexuality in my childhood and began masturbating even before I was a…
I was a 14 year old child. I was raped. Had just had a lesson on “virtue”, the week before. I was so traumatized. I didn’t tell my parents because of the whole “it would be better to have your child come home in a pine box than to lose their virtue”, rhetoric. I went…