Growing up I was taught in church that masturbation was the most vile and nasty thing and no one did it except really bad people, at least that is the impression I got. I had so much fear and shame around masturbation that I would never allow myself to masturbate but I did everything else…
My first bishop interview about masturbation happened when I was 14 in 1984. I did not know what that was at the time. I had 3 more interviews about masturbation between the ages of 14-17 years old. I felt uncomfortable about his interest in that subject. It was creepy. He seemed so pleased to bring…
I was sexualized when I was 14 by an adult female, “Helen”. She was in her mid-20s. At the same time I was also given drugs——not a soft drug, like marijuana, but “acid”, or LSD. (This is a long story and I won’t go into it here, only to say that this is what basically…
My mother was inactive LDS growing up. My dad was of another faith. I didn’t go to church often, but would at times go play basketball with neighborhood friends who were LDS. At one of these shootarounds when I was thirteen, I was pulled into the bishop’s office without either of my parent’s consent or…
I’ve written about a hundred pages worth of material trying to figure out what I want to say and get it down to something less than a thousand words. This is around two thousand. My difficulty in being succinct is perhaps evidence of the severity of the trauma and my need to talk about it.…
My mother taught me that it was wrong to touch my private parts. I was afraid to sin and was very careful not to ever touch myself, even as a young child. At some point I began to masturbate, as a young teen or perhaps sooner. I did not know what it was that I…
As a young 13 year old girl, this was a very uncomfortable, if not traumatizing situation for me speaking to an older man about my sexual “transgressions.” This, in combination with the church’s many lessons about chastity and comparing me to a chewed piece of gum for losing my virginity shattered me as a person.…
There was a time a little girl was happy, at least she tried to pretend she was, because she did not know what was going on.
I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was three. He made me touch his penis. We were in the same ward growing up and he was later called as a bishop when I was a teenager. I remember being so sad and confused that someone like him could be called. Why would priesthood…
Growing up in the church I was frequently asked about masturbation. The cumulative doctrine during my formative years was very clear that this was a sin of the highest severity. This came in the form of “For Young Men Only” pamphlets, Books such as Miracle of Forgiveness, frequent priesthood preview meetings, quorum curriculum, general conference…