I discovered masturbation at age 5. I did not know it was a “sin” until my mother had caught me. Ever after she would try to catch me in the act. So I had internalized the shame from a very tender age. Shortly after my baptism at age 8 after I had masturbated I had…
From when I was twelve onward, I was asked by my bishop in semi annual interviews sexual questions. He asked me, from when I was 12, if I engaged in petting or necking. I had to ask for clarification about what that meant. He asked me if I watched pornography. I had to ask for…
My daughter has been participating in intensive treatment and therapy for PTSD following years of childhood trauma, resulting from living in the battlefield that was our home. She witnessed abuse, and was subjected to the resulting years of the craziness of religious abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and a mom who was barely hanging on…
When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I had accidentally stumbled upon porn on the internet. I didn’t know what it was. I knew it was bad for me to be looking at though. It made me uncomfortable and I tried to forget about it. Fast forward to a week or so later, my…
A deeply inappropriate worthiness interview when I was 12 or 13 years old traumatized me when a bishop went through the “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet and asked me about every single item inside, including my media viewing habits, my friendships, masturbation, “necking/petting,” etc. It was overwhelming and terrifying. The sexual questions in particular…
When I was 8 years old and receiving my worthiness interview for baptism, I remember feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t know my bishop well beyond singing songs to him in sacrament meeting and making candy posters for him in primary. I was taught that he was safe, good, loved me, and had my best interests at…
I remember hitting myself at night when I came home from church in my early teens as I just couldn’t stay away from masturbation. I stopped for a year while living with my father. I then felt so guilty after a babysitting porn book relapse, that I told my father, who immediately had me into…
My husband is a retired police officer. There have been many times when he was investigating child abuse cases where bishops and other church leaders would not cooperate with the investigations. They stated this was a matter being handled within the church. They would not give any information. They were protecting the perpetrator, and the…
I began masturbating without knowing what it was. When I realized I felt afraid and guilty, feeling I’d done the worst thing save murder. A few months later, at age 13, I told my bishop. He asked me to describe how I had been doing it, how often, and for how long. He also told…
I. I was born into an LDS family. Throughout my childhood and youth, my father served in major positions of leadership, respect and trust, including bishop, stake high councilman, branch president and Gospel Doctrine teacher. Throughout my childhood and youth, my mother served in major positions of leadership, respect and trust, including Relief Society president,…