#880 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Other: Victim shaming

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I had a boyfriend in high school and we were both very active LDS. We’d been dating for about 6 months when he told me he would kill himself in I didn’t have sex with him. I did because I knew him and I knew he would follow through with his threat. I did not…

#879 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I didn’t realize until I was at college that masturbation and strong sexual desire is a normal attribute of nearly every healthy person. My high school years were spent thinking that I was a deviant freak. Those years were counted in weeks that followed the shame cycle; dreading the coming of Sunday when I’d have…

#874 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,7

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I wasn’t born into a “mormon” household. I was born into a “wordly” household, as I was often told as a 9 year old little girl trying to navigate my way through life in the LDS church, while having two addicts for parents. It was often hard for me when my grandmother would take me…

#872 Jenna B. CS: 1,3,7,8,9. Other: Afraid of going to the bishop

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, 9. Attempted Suicide, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

It was October of 2007, and I had just turned 8. I was told I had to meet the bishop, to see if I was worthy enough, so I could get baptized. I went in nervous as all hell, and wondered what he was going to ask me. He started off with the standard questions…

#869 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,4,5,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

My father, Stan ______, held one on one “priesthood” interviews with his children when I was growing up. He set this up to feel much like a Bishop interview, and often compared the Bishop’s stewardship over the ward with Stan’s stewardship over his family. When I was 15, Stan began “Sex Ed” in which he…

#868 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,7

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

My children will not be interviewed by bishops because of what I faced as a teenager. When counseling about my “sins,” my bishop, a man who lived on the next street and was the same age as my dad, asked me a very specific sexual questions. These were things I wouldn’t/couldn’t discuss with my closest…

#866 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Other: Years of late night harassing phone calls on my family’s home phone. I always suspected it was one of the male abusers from my families ward. If anyone but me picked up the phone, they would hang up. If I picked up the phone the voice on the other side would say sexually explicit things also talking of incest, and made it clear they were masturbating on the phone.

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 10. Suicide of a loved one or friend, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, 9. Attempted Suicide, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I was raised in a family with half a dozen siblings. Very close, very conservative. My parents were very “morally driven” and extremely uncomfortable with anything adult oriented or things they deemed inappropriate. Easiest examples being the censorship they used for the family TV Many channels were blocked, we weren’t allowed to watch mainstream shows…

#865 Joseph P. CS: 1,2,7. Other: belief that I was somehow bad or wrong for going through the natural process of becoming an adult.

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

As a teenager, I was repeatedly interrogated by my bishop about masturbation. I lied and felt horrible about it. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I would be looked down on if anyone knew the truth. the guilt was always weighing down on me. I thought I was a horrible person…

#864 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

When I was 14 I went to my bishop to confess to looking at pornography and masturbation. I remember the shame more than anything. My bishop at the time was my next door neighbor and father of one of my best friends. I remember confessing to him alone that I had looked at pornography, and…