Sam, there was a discussion on the RFM board the other day about whether sexual abuse always leaves you broken. I felt compelled to finally tell my story but did it anonymously. And even though I know it was easy to tell that I was writing my own story, I had to tell it in…
I experienced incredible shame over masturbation. Barely a teenager, the scripture in Matthew 5:29-30 became constant in my mind: 29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should…
I grew up as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints in the UK. I remember the Bishop’s interviews very intrusive and embarrassing and also I felt violated looking back now as an adult. I grew up in a ward that there were many leaders men who were very egotistical and…
I never was asked explicit sexual questions in bishop’s interviews, but I feel such pain and anguish with every story shared here, and with the experiences of my loved ones. The constant barrage of chastity lessons in Mutual taught me that sexual feelings were evil, that we needed to be pure in thought at all…
I received heavy doses of shaming at the hands of leaders. I was made to feel ashamed of my body, and my natural urges. I got asked numerous times behind closed doors with leaders if I masturbated. I usually lied. Before my mission, a leader at the MTC wanted to hear all the details of…
When I was a young man, I couldn’t stop masturbating. It was just too hard, and I was too weak. Guilt destroyed me. I sinning in a way that was so bad it was “second only to murder”. I considered suicide after I had been clean for a while, but I was too scared that…
When I was 15 and in my sophomore year of high school, I had a nonmormon best friend who happened to be a boy (which was a sort of “scandalous” thing in my ward). It was a normal bestfriendship and we spent a lot of time together during school and after school. I was already…
When I was 12 I had my first temple worthiness interview. The bishop asked me if I followed the law of chastity. He said, do you know what that is? I told him no. he said, “it means have you touched yourself or let other people touch you?” I could tell the correct answer to…
I was born into the church. Growing up, I always considered myself a normal kid but felt that the only thing in my life that was not normal was the church. I never did drugs or any illegal activity, like drink alcohol and get behind the wheel of a car while under the influence. I…
I can’t remember certain aspects of my early childhood. This is important, because my biological father allegedly molested or abused my sister and I. We were only 2 or 3 years of age. Whatever was going on then made my mother bolt, almost literally. I have family members who share quite a bit more with…