I was raised a Mormon. My mother was born in Utah. I had very strict grandmother and I felt pressured to speak about my masturbation habits and my porn watching. It lead me to lose my sarcament privileges which made me feel isolated from the other boys in my ward. The bishop was tough and…
When I was 14 or 15 years old my mother caught me with pornography. It happens. Because of my LDS upbringing I was terrified and I thought my life was over. I expected my dad to come home and beat me till my bones broke everyday for the rest of my life. Most indiscretions were…
I felt like my mind and my body were never my own. I was property of the church. My mind, body, identity, worthiness, and authority were taken from me through coercion, threats, extreme social pressure, and ritualistic abuse. It’s been so damaging to me. I’m still trying to piece myself back together. It’s heartbreaking to…
I feel hurt and betrayed. I gave my heart and soul to this church and the lack of boundaries and policies and teachings around immorality/chastity/modesty/worthiness interviews of this institution have caused me so much psychological, emotional, and mental pain and suffering. There were no boundaries. It was confusing. It was scary. It was horrible. It…
Growing up in the LDS church I was always compared to my older sister, she was the perfect mormon girl and I was just me, so because of that I had a lot of meetings with my bishops growing up. Many of these meetings are hazy to me now (even though they were not that…
From the time I was 12 to 15, when I moved to another town, I had rumors spread about me by other girls in my ward. I was just starting to remember the childhood sexual abuse I had suffered so my view on sex and healthy relationships was skewed. My bishop at the time would…
I am a Therapist-Survivor of ritualistic abuse and mind control, that involved at least two of my bishops as perpetrators, and two of my stake presidents. The document below is a document I wrote with the help and edits of a psychologist friend who has advocated and supported survivors for almost 4 decades. While my…
I was 12 years old when I started masturbating. I felt like the scum of the earth. I don’t know how to describe how much guilt and self loathing that I felt until the age of 27 (I’m 28 now). I really felt like I was the worst person in the world that I didn’t…
I was 15, in the early 2000’s in Riverton, Utah. I had been the Mia Maids president and extremely active in the LDS Church since my childhood. My rapist was more than double my age. I met him on “hotornot.com” I lied and said I was 18 to be on the website, but I told…
I was browsing my Facebook and to my dismay I saw a post from my daughter. We had never discussed this Protect LDS children issue, but there she was sharing a link about it and sharing her story. With horror and anticipation I read her post. She told about a member of the bishopic interviewing…