I joined the church when I was 12 years old, I had never masturbated or looked at pornography. I was certainly old enough to partake in these activities, I just had not arrived “there” yet. I was still a child who had not reached puberty. I had no idea that within a year my sexuality…
The first time I was asked about masturbation, specifically, by a bishop, I was 12 years old. It was before my first temple trip, in a recommend interview. I understand that some people who support this practice think that the one-on-one interviews, (away from parents) are an opportunity for children who are being abused at…
My bishop started asking about masturbation at age 14. The interview I remember most vividly was my 14th birthday interview to advance in the priesthood. I don’t remember much about the interview except toward the end he got very serious and asked, “do you masturbate?” At the time I did, but there was no way…
I started masturbating at age 13 or so. When I was first masturbating, I don’t think I even knew what I was really doing, let alone the idea that I was ‘sinning’. Shortly after, I realized/learned that it was a sin, and between bishopric changes, and ward splits, etc. I ended up having four different…
I will never forget when a young inexperienced bishop’s counselor took it upon himself to come into our Deacons Quorum and “warn” us against the horrors of masturbation. This lesson was not in the manual. To this day, I have no idea why he felt compelled or authorized to give us such a lesson. I…
At different times in my life I have confided in several bishops about various spiritual and emotional concerns. Throughout my youth, and young adulthood, I have never had an interview with a bishop where the topic of chastity hasn’t turned into an inappropriate conversation. As a teen, in order to qualify for different rights of…
As a teenager I was immersed in the gospel. I loved it. I loved the Book of Mormon. I spent much time memorizing passages from it. I was proud of my faith. But I masturbated from the time I was twelve years old. After much internal agony, I confessed to my bishop in my annual…
I don’t remember the first time that sexual questions were asked by my bishop, but I remember that just before my 12th birthday I was racked with shame, embarrassment, and dread because of an upcoming interview with my bishop. I had held a secret for the last two years, and now I was about to…
When I was fifteen and sixteen, I became involved with a man who was ten years my senior. He was sexually abusive and would be sexual with me despite my protests. This went on for two years. I became very insolated and dependent on him and felt helpless to end the abuse cycle. I talked…
My story starts in a place I imagine many stories start. In the bath tub. It was around five years old that I first discovered that playing with myself felt really good. It was also the beginning of a childhood wracked with intense guilt, shame and self loathing. “Dinkin” around in the bath, I heard…