I had the usual worthiness interviews starting at age twelve. Until I was fifteen, they were always on script. I never had anything to say to the contrary of any of the questions, I was never prodded. I did dislike the youth temple trip interviews being done during church hours being pulled out of class…
I was in high school, maybe 15 or 16. I had snuck out one night to see my boyfriend. He pressured and threatened me into letting him finger me. It felt gross and violating. I felt disgusting. Little did I know that was only the beginning. I went to confess my sins to the bishop,…
Utah has one of the highest youth suicide rates in the country. It is getting worse. When I was raised in the Mormon church, every week every bishop that I had, talked about Masturbation. When I hear the word Mormon the very first thought that I think about is masturbation. The second thought is masturbation.…
I was sexually abused twice as a child by a family member. First, at around 7 years old, and then again at 9 years old. That in itself was a difficult thing to overcome, and I was told by family that it wasn’t my fault, and that I was a victim. My abuser wore garments…
I was 5 years old when I discovered masturbation. I guess I could blame it on my babysitter using shampoo in my bubble bath which lead to a bad yeast infection. But my parents had no idea about it for years until right before my 8th birthday. My dad was my Branch President at the…
I was born into the LDS church. I attended faithfully with my family. Went to nursery, primary, and young women’s every Sunday except for the few Sundays we were out of town on vacation. Church was a major part in my life. I believed in its doctrine because it had been ingrained in me since…
Written 11 November 2017 So much anger, So much shame, Looking for someone Someone to blame. I thought for years. I thought it was me. That I was the wrong one. The bad one was me. Carrying the guilt. Carrying all the shame. That who I was Was bad. Was wrong. I was to blame.…
“Do you masturbate?” It was the first time I had heard the word, and it sounded like something bad, so I quickly said no. I was 14 years old, and He was the bishop. As a 14 year old I was dating a young man in the same ward. During the same set of interviews,…
As a child I was taught that it was wrong to touch yourself – but that your husband could touch you after you got married. I remember as a young married woman still feeling shame to even explore my body in a non-sexual nature. But my husband could touch anywhere he wanted. He would frequently…
I grew up in an LDS family in rural Idaho. I was baptized when I was eight as is the LDS standard. I would say I was fairly sheltered in my upbringing, and I mean this in the worst way possible. I was not really told what I was signing up for when they asked…