Three stories in one… When I was young, I anticipated the day I would drive a car. I would sit in the car in the driveway and practice shifting the gears. When I became a scout (12-13), I had an assistant scoutmaster who was just one of the older boys (somewhere in the 16-18 age…
I was taught and groomed to believe that men were standing between me and god. That they were acting as gods representative. I do not remember large parts of childhood, however looking back on symptoms, I see some traits of red flags of abuse or mental instability (I assume abuse, but I don’t have evidences…
Looking back now, I can see that I have always been very interested in sex. Even as a young kid of six or seven years I liked being naked and exploring my body. I was very curious about how girls were different than boys. I liked to experiment with things that would cause erections. I…
My first experience with church leaders asking me about pornography or masturbation happened when I was about 12. I had always been curious about sexuality since most of my friends in middle school were not members and they looked at pornography regularly. My bishop asked me if I looked at pornography or masturbated when I…
I was inspired by former Bishop Sam Young’s campaign to end teen interviews with bishops for the plethora of reasons he has outlined. I have been wanting to share my own personal story on this topic for 38 years, but it has been very difficult to find the words, process the emotions, and not end…
I grew up in a traditional Mormon family. As a teenage boy, I could always tell I was a very sexual person. I had an intense curiosity about sex from an early age and no one to talk to or ask questions to. This led to experimentation. I began masturbating before I had even hit…
When I was 6, my brother and I played “doctor”. I had no idea at the time there was anything wrong with the game, we were nearly playing make believe. We did the normal children’s game of “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”, and on the count of 3 we quickly gave…
As a girl, I never heard any messages directed to the young women about masturbation, which made me feel like I must be especially bad because I couldn’t stop doing something that seemingly no other young women had a problem with. I prayed and begged god to help me stop, to take away my desire…
The first interview I remember was my pre-baptism interview when I was 8. The bishop took me into his office, having my parents wait outside. He asked me a lot of different questions, including whether I had ever touched myself. Due to the tone in which he asked, I recognized that “touching myself” was a…
I turned twelve in 1973, while living in Cache Valley, Utah. I spent the two years I was a Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood in Utah. I do not recall any intrusive or poignant, sexually-themed questions at all during that time. But we moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee around my fourteenth birthday. The sexualization of my…