I turned twelve in 1973, while living in Cache Valley, Utah. I spent the two years I was a Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood in Utah. I do not recall any intrusive or poignant, sexually-themed questions at all during that time.
But we moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee around my fourteenth birthday. The sexualization of my relationship with Priesthood Leaders began then.
By sexualization I mean that from the time between the ages of fourteen and nineteen, I never had an interaction with a Bishop or Stake President that didn’t involve questions about masturbation. These interviews occurred no less than every six months, sometimes more often
Naturally, I masturbated, but there was such a stigma attached to it that I rarely told the truth to my Bishop. The ramifications for telling the truth were too severe. Those who did confess were placed on some sort of Probation and couldn’t perform their Priesthood duties. It was awkward, shaming and embarrassing in a small ward with few Aaronic Priesthood holders.
Eventually, the young men just knew when someone had been guilted by the Bishop into confessing, by their inability to pass, prepare or bless the sacrament. Temple trips, long multi-night events in the 70’s, were missed and shaming was rampant.
I learned early on that Christ is a pervert. I mean, if revelation is a tenant in the church and men are called by this revelation, then Bishops represent Christ. And since revelation continues to bolster these men up in their callings, the men asking me what I thought about as I masturbated, what finally made me climax, what I wore to bed and how often I did it were acting under direction of the Spirit and via revelation.
How else can I think? Are we to become pick-and-chose Mormons, deciding which direction from our local leadership comes from Christ or doesn’t? That’s mighty flimsy. The church can’t have it both ways.