On average, from age 5 to 28, I considered suicide and/or self-mutilation roughly once a week, in part because I was subjected to these interviews. I encountered some of the church’s teachings about sexual sin early on, and as early as age 5 (I was molested by another child a few years older than me—as…
As a teen and as a young woman in college I was asked by the Bishop about whether or not I masturbated. The discussion with my college Bishop kept me out of the temple and made me feel unworthy and unloved for years afterwards. Looking back, I was already dealing with depression at the time…
I was 14 when I started dating a never-mo boy I was sweet on, and I suffered shaming for that. How could I betray God and my heavenly family for some boy that didn’t even believe in God? As the relationship progressed my mother found out about the sexual questions I was asking my more…
When I was being interviewed to enter young women’s at the age of 12, I was brought into a room with the lights turned off to speak with a member of the bishopric. He asked me the usual questions, things about tithing, reading scriptures, etc. I was so nervous that I would answer the questions…
I grew up in the 1970s and ‘80s. I loved the church and never thought I would leave, but now I’m a middle-aged apostate who believes that one immense contributing factor to a loss of testimony is the church’s obsessive, abusive relationship to sexuality and shaming members. As a young woman (teen) I was interviewed…
When I was 17 I confessed to French kissing. The bishop told me how disappointed he was in me. How everyone looks up to me and I’ve let down God, him, my family, the young women. I cried and cried and then went home and cried more. A year later I’m 18 and at byu.…
At 5 years of age, I was caught playing doctor with the neighbor girl. It was pretty innocent, up to that point I had no idea boys and girls were different. But, we got caught and that’s when the shaming began. I remember that night, my mom told me that “God was ashamed of me.”…
I was harmed by the church’s teachings regarding sexuality, including invasive interviews on sexual topics. I was a very well-behaved child. I didn’t do anything beyond occasional masturbation. I honestly believed I had committed a sin “next to murder.” I spent years sure I was going to hell. I discussed things with bishops that they…
From the age of 4 to 12, my older brother sexually abused me. When I was 15, and my brother was on a mission (so I felt safe to tell someone) I told my bishop about the abuse. He treated it completely inappropriately, asking me questions related to my worthiness; treating me as if I…
I was about 16. I had a blind date with someone who proclaimed to be a returned missionary. He was returned missionary but he was a predator. I was pressured into doing many things. All in a hotel room that I was under the assumption we were picking his friends up there. I felt so…