#221 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7,8

I grew up very active in the church and quite believing. I tried to do everything right. To the outside I was a model member, seemingly obeying the commandments, being an excellent student and also excelling in athletics. But starting at puberty there was one habit that I struggled with: masturbation. I loathed myself for…

#220 Name Withheld. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7

My story I remember being really nervous at bishops interviews as a youth because the prevailing belief was that bishops could ask ANY question they wanted because they were Gods’ representative and inspired and therefore refusing was considered rebelling against God. I. along with all my friends, dreaded those interviews. When asked if I had…

#218 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

I hesitated to write my story because I wasn’t sexually abused. I decided to write it though, because my experience around these interviews has been a big contributor to my depression and constant feelings of shame. I remember my first orgasm at 12 years old. I was downstairs watching TV and I was flipping through…

#217 D. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

The mission and stories of this website have validated my pain and my experience. This validation has brought about so much healing in my heart. This validation has empowered me to finally stand up to my shame and to stand up to the beliefs, people, and experiences which generated and nurtured my shame and say…

#210 Landon H. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10

Sam, July 2nd of 2017 was the first day I had been sober in over a decade. Between drugs and alcohol I had a heavy regiment of self-medication. There was good reason for that self-medicating. I continue that sobriety and am on day 205 as I compile this story the best I can. 2 1/2…

#209 Melissa B. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8,9

I was eight years old when I was sexually abused, I didn’t even understand what had happened really, I just knew it felt wrong and scary. I was very confused and somehow decided it was my fault because I had been baptized. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened, I was ashamed, I thought no…

#208 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

Growing up LDS, sex and sexual topics were a taboo topic that we never talked about in our home. When I began to experience sexual feelings, I felt like I must be a pervert. I was a young girl and young girls weren’t supposed to have such thoughts and feelings. It was understandable for boys…

#207 Marissa S. CS: 1,2,3,6,7

By all accounts, my childhood was pretty perfect. I grew up in the church, had awesome friends, leaders, and experiences. My dad was my bishop until my early teens, then a friend’s dad was called and he was my bishop throughout high school. I went to him a few times after going “too far” with…

#205 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7

As a young man I felt incredibly guilty about masturbation. I felt like I was the only one with this “sin” and that it made me a horrible person. The Bishop interviews were humiliating and I found myself lying so that I could progress through the ranks of deacon, teacher, priest -like the other kids.…