#210 Landon H. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10

Sam, July 2nd of 2017 was the first day I had been sober in over a decade. Between drugs and alcohol I had a heavy regiment of self-medication. There was good reason for that self-medicating. I continue that sobriety and am on day 205 as I compile this story the best I can. 2 1/2…

#209 Melissa B. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8,9

I was eight years old when I was sexually abused, I didn’t even understand what had happened really, I just knew it felt wrong and scary. I was very confused and somehow decided it was my fault because I had been baptized. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened, I was ashamed, I thought no…

#208 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

Growing up LDS, sex and sexual topics were a taboo topic that we never talked about in our home. When I began to experience sexual feelings, I felt like I must be a pervert. I was a young girl and young girls weren’t supposed to have such thoughts and feelings. It was understandable for boys…

#207 Marissa S. CS: 1,2,3,6,7

By all accounts, my childhood was pretty perfect. I grew up in the church, had awesome friends, leaders, and experiences. My dad was my bishop until my early teens, then a friend’s dad was called and he was my bishop throughout high school. I went to him a few times after going “too far” with…

#205 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7

As a young man I felt incredibly guilty about masturbation. I felt like I was the only one with this “sin” and that it made me a horrible person. The Bishop interviews were humiliating and I found myself lying so that I could progress through the ranks of deacon, teacher, priest -like the other kids.…

#204 Michelle. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10. Other: Self harm

My story starts with me realizing early in my elementary years, that I liked boys and girls. I was also sexually abused by an older child during first grade. I told no one of the abuse until I was almost 30, except one bishop. A bishop who simply had no training or experience probably, with…

#203 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7. Other: Extreme fear of Hell and punishment for normal developmental processes; anxiety disorder (OCD)

Some LDS readers might turn a blind eye to stories that don’t fit their worldview of ‘ultimate authority’ and blind trust in leaders. The gospel is the product being distributed through the LDS Church – all the rest is organizational behavior, which is imperfect and even damaging. I know; I have a doctorate in the…

#202 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

Growing up a girl in the church I was never told that masturbation was wrong; I guess they thought only boys did it. So I started masturbating very young to help me fall asleep. Normal, natural, I didn’t think anything of it. When I was 16 I went for a temple recommend interview with a…

#200 Name hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. Other: Unable to trust myself – always needing someone in authority to tell me what I needed to do

My story is complicated. I was sexually abused by family members when I was 5-7, but I didn’t know that’s what it was and didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t feel shame about the abuse, though I imagine my childhood that was full of anxiety and fear could have been because of the sexual abuse. It’s…