#148 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

I started masturbating at age 13 or so. When I was first masturbating, I don’t think I even knew what I was really doing, let alone the idea that I was ‘sinning’. Shortly after, I realized/learned that it was a sin, and between bishopric changes, and ward splits, etc. I ended up having four different…

#145 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10. Other: Loss of confidence in spiritual leadership.

I will never forget when a young inexperienced bishop’s counselor took it upon himself to come into our Deacons Quorum and “warn” us against the horrors of masturbation. This lesson was not in the manual. To this day, I have no idea why he felt compelled or authorized to give us such a lesson. I…

#144 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7. Other: Suffered a crisis of faith. Bitterness toward LDS faith. Years of inactivity. Difficulty trusting LDS leaders. Damage to emotional and spiritual well being. Difficulty trusting men.

At different times in my life I have confided in several bishops about various spiritual and emotional concerns. Throughout my youth, and young adulthood, I have never had an interview with a bishop where the topic of chastity hasn’t turned into an inappropriate conversation. As a teen, in order to qualify for different rights of…

#140 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7

I don’t remember the first time that sexual questions were asked by my bishop, but I remember that just before my 12th birthday I was racked with shame, embarrassment, and dread because of an upcoming interview with my bishop. I had held a secret for the last two years, and now I was about to…

#138 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

My story starts in a place I imagine many stories start. In the bath tub. It was around five years old that I first discovered that playing with myself felt really good. It was also the beginning of a childhood wracked with intense guilt, shame and self loathing. “Dinkin” around in the bath, I heard…

#137 Name Hidden. CS: 1,3,6,7

When I turned 16, I had my bishops interview for a temple recommend. I was asked if I had sexual intercourse and when I said yes, my whole world fell apart. My bishop wanted to know who the boy was. I didn’t want to tell. I knew it was not appropriate and it was not…

#135 Rachael CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8,9. Other: Shamed, rather than helped, after a rape

I was sexually abused at age 4 and again at age 7 by members of the Church. I learned early that extreme compliance was the way to keep safe. I was also raised to believe that bishops represented God in everything they said and did and that I could not be forgiven without seeing a…

#134 Kip K. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

We moved to a new ward when I was 13 and I discovered masturbation shortly after that.  I didn’t discuss it with anyone, but I gleaned enough context around the topic from friends and the church’s teachings on sex that I felt guilty and felt the only way to repent was through confession to the…

#133 Heidi H. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

There are three bishops whom had the authority to declare the validity to my self worthiness: from taking the sacrament to going through the temple and onto serve a mission. The second bishop, whom I knew since the age of 6 was my best friend’s father. I shared family dinners with him, slept over at…