Just like many other young women in the church, I was specifically taught from a young age that my worth was dependent on my purity. Young women are taught that we are responsible for young men’s thoughts and actions. I was taught that if I dressed immodestly that I was “walking pornography” to the men…
I’m gay. I thought if I was the perfect Mormon boy, God would cure me of my gayness because obviously this is sinful. When I found out as a teenager that masturbation was a sin I wanted to die. I felt worthless and terrible. I knew I had to tell the bishop if I wanted…
Trigger Warning * Sexual assault involving a bishop* **If you are a survivor of molest, be very cautious about being triggered reading my story!!!** * Sam Young, THANK YOU for Holding THIS TORCH. I cannot begin to tell you how much your work in shedding light on these interviews means to me!!! This post contains…
Bishop’s interviews are so damaging to young people. And adults. The damage I suffered because of these interviews and the teaching that masturbation is a sin, has been severe and has carried into my adult life and into my marriage. I’ve been married for 8 years and because of the church’s teachings and bishops interviews…
I am a girl and I remember as early as 4 or 5 years old casually feeling slight sexual feelings that were immediately followed by shame and guilt. I was on my bed in my room and had already had doctrine ingrained into me that I was bad for feeling those feelings. Feeling like you’re…
I was not asked inappropriate questions by bishops/counselors, but I still suffered incredible guilt and self-loathing because of the general process of worthiness interviews. I was terrified by the prospect of these interviews. As a young child, I thought I’d be excommunicated for fighting with my sister. As a teen, I thought I’d be excommunicated…
I’ve lived with decades of shame, guilt and anxiety due to dozens of private worthiness meetings with LDS leaders when I was as young as eleven years old. The questions were always sexually-based and completely inappropriate. As a father and now a grandfather, I cannot fathom how this perverted system still exists. There is no…
I always had to report to my bishop growing up if/how often I masturbated or looked at porn. It was always degrading, and left me with a ton of guilt. I once got asked by my bishop how many fingers I used and if my fingers penetrated my girlfriend at the time. Super inappropriate and…
I began masturbating around 10 years old. The guilt started around that time. As my 12th birthday got closer and I started thinking about my interviews to become a deacon, I became suicidal from the overwhelming guilt of masturbating and looking at porn (in the form of Victoria’s Secret catalogs, before high speed internet). For…
My duration at the Provo MTC was from September through November of 2008. Each and every day there were lessons, videos, talks, activities, and speakers which all focused on personal worthiness, and that all success as a missionary depends on that worthiness. The result was a constant and immense feeling of guilt, insecurity, and failure…