When I was 16, I was sure I was in love with my boyfriend. Evenings were spent cuddling watching tv. As often happens the line kept being crossed, just a little at a time and I soon found myself in the bishops office. He listened as I uncomfortably explained that I had gone “too far.”…
As a young 13 year old girl, this was a very uncomfortable, if not traumatizing situation for me speaking to an older man about my sexual “transgressions.” This, in combination with the church’s many lessons about chastity and comparing me to a chewed piece of gum for losing my virginity shattered me as a person.…
There was a time a little girl was happy, at least she tried to pretend she was, because she did not know what was going on.
I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was three. He made me touch his penis. We were in the same ward growing up and he was later called as a bishop when I was a teenager. I remember being so sad and confused that someone like him could be called. Why would priesthood…
I grew up being exposed to sexual activities and situations from my neighborhood peers, starting at a very young age. I always felt shame around things I had been exposed to or reluctantly participated in based on what I learned at church. As a youth, I regularly visited the bishop for worthiness interviews. I always…
At age 12, I was so excited to be ordained a deacon. The Bishop brought me into his office. I don’t remember anything from that interview except that he asked if I knew what masturbation was. I had no idea. He must have not told me because I just remember when I got home asking…
Growing up in the church I was frequently asked about masturbation. The cumulative doctrine during my formative years was very clear that this was a sin of the highest severity. This came in the form of “For Young Men Only” pamphlets, Books such as Miracle of Forgiveness, frequent priesthood preview meetings, quorum curriculum, general conference…
I was in Junior High, and struggling. I already didn’t believe in the church. Which put me at odds with my Dad. My sibling had an illegitimate baby, which brought major shame to the family, back then. Another sibling got into drugs, which eventually took his life, a little later down the road. This sibling…
I was a hyper-sexual child who didn’t know the word masturbating until five or six years after I’d started having regular orgasms. I started cutting myself as I learned about the church’s stances on everything outside of standard married intercourse and that my value had been diminished as a result. I felt so out of…
I was sexually abused as a primary sunbeam (age 4-5) by my primary teachers during sunday school lessons (a husband and wife). There was at least one other girl with me that I can recall. These memories stuck with her, but I repressed them until just recently. I can now look back at how the…