#1018 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8. Other: Ideas of self-mutilation

I first stated masturbation at a young age. It was a secret I kept. I felt awkward about it when other boys talked about it as they learned about sex from their parents and I did not. I didn’t think much of it until I remember seeing a video with my Mormon peers which claimed…

#1016 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,5,7,8

Approximately 11 years ago I was busy with work and school as well as dealing mentally with the loss of my mom to suicide a few years prior. I let my bishop know that I needed a blessing. I told him I was taking Benadryl to sleep a lot through a depression. The bishop at…

#1012 Tori L. CS: 1,2,3,5,6,7,8. Other: Severe alcoholism

This story belongs to my mother. In 1970, in Salem, Utah, C.G. was a naive and innocent 11 year old, happy and willing to babysit the children of her Sunday school teacher. She endured multiple episodes of fondling, kissing, and hypersexualized discussion, on her teacher’s living room floor. THEN, the wife of this vile human…

1010 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,7,8.

Even though I was a fatherless Mormon Boy, my Mormon childhood was great all the way up until the dreadful day my testes started to produce semen and that is when my LDS nightmare began. It would happen naturally and I could not stop it from becoming erect. The Church had assigned a convert man…

1008 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7,8

Masturbation. Just before turning 12, I was called in for an interview with the Bishop prior to becoming a deacon. One of his questions was if I have a problem with masturbation. I didn’t know what the word meant. I said, no. Puberty hit me at age 14 and from 14-18 “self-abuse” became a frequent…

1005 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,7,8. Other: Years of depression and feelings of un-worthyness

Hello Mormon friends, I am a 83 yer old man who was unfortunately raised as a Roman Catholic. I relate to virtually all the stories of the young men who have experienced traumatizing guilt over masturbation. I lived in SLC for about 20 years and have had both Mormon and non-Mormon male friends and woman…

#1003 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7,8,9,10

I knew I was gay as early as I was 8. All I knew is that what I felt was wrong and evil. That was constantly reiterated at church for the next decade of my life. The amount of self loathing and shaming was crippling at times. No one knew. When I was 11, I…

#1002 Sarah V. CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8

I was baptized at 8, like all the other kids who were raised in the church did. When I was 9 I was raped by my brother over the span of almost a year. My parent’s had caught him in the act and instead of involving law enforcement they just sat us down and told…

#998 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8,9. Other: ecclesiastical coercion to do harm to my congregation

I am one of the many men who was repeatedly sexually shamed in interviews. This line of specific and graphic sexual questioning took place since I was 12 years old and lasted until after my mission. I was grilled about it explicitly by bishops, stake presidents, mission presidents, and young men’s leaders. Even now as…