#145 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10. Other: Loss of confidence in spiritual leadership.

I will never forget when a young inexperienced bishop’s counselor took it upon himself to come into our Deacons Quorum and “warn” us against the horrors of masturbation. This lesson was not in the manual. To this day, I have no idea why he felt compelled or authorized to give us such a lesson. I…

#144 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7. Other: Suffered a crisis of faith. Bitterness toward LDS faith. Years of inactivity. Difficulty trusting LDS leaders. Damage to emotional and spiritual well being. Difficulty trusting men.

At different times in my life I have confided in several bishops about various spiritual and emotional concerns. Throughout my youth, and young adulthood, I have never had an interview with a bishop where the topic of chastity hasn’t turned into an inappropriate conversation. As a teen, in order to qualify for different rights of…

#138 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

My story starts in a place I imagine many stories start. In the bath tub. It was around five years old that I first discovered that playing with myself felt really good. It was also the beginning of a childhood wracked with intense guilt, shame and self loathing. “Dinkin” around in the bath, I heard…

#135 Rachael CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8,9. Other: Shamed, rather than helped, after a rape

I was sexually abused at age 4 and again at age 7 by members of the Church. I learned early that extreme compliance was the way to keep safe. I was also raised to believe that bishops represented God in everything they said and did and that I could not be forgiven without seeing a…

#134 Kip K. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

We moved to a new ward when I was 13 and I discovered masturbation shortly after that.  I didn’t discuss it with anyone, but I gleaned enough context around the topic from friends and the church’s teachings on sex that I felt guilty and felt the only way to repent was through confession to the…

#133 Heidi H. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

There are three bishops whom had the authority to declare the validity to my self worthiness: from taking the sacrament to going through the temple and onto serve a mission. The second bishop, whom I knew since the age of 6 was my best friend’s father. I shared family dinners with him, slept over at…

#132 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

At 17, I was repeatedly asked specific questions by my bishop when I went in to confess the things I had done. I was asked whether I spit or swallowed. I was asked whether or not I masturbated, how often, and what I used. I was required to visit with him weekly and sometimes twice…

#131 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

When I was 17 I went to see my bishop after I felt my boyfriend and I had gone too far physically. He did ask me very specific details and also what I had done to encourage this and if I felt it was OK to exhibit that type of behavior around a son of…

#129 L.R. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8,9

I was ten. I stumbled across porn for the first time, and had kept it a secret from my parents as I knew they would be ashamed in me if they knew their child was bisexual. I had always considered myself to be a more mature child, and I had heard that finding and occasionally…

#117 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,7,8

I remember being asked in every interview if I was keeping the law of chastity. I had always answered ‘yes’ until I was 18. Me and my boyfriend at the time had engaged in some “inappropriate” behaviors, and I knew I had sinned. During my next interview I was asked if I kept the law…