#157 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,8,9

While in high school I struggled with sexuality. I kind of liked girls and occasionally acted on it. I went to my bishop for support thinking that’s what I was supposed to do. It wasn’t normal to like girls, so I forced myself into relationships with boys which led to threats against my life, molestation…

#156 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,8,9

The bishop I had from age 12 to mission departure was seemingly obsessed with the sexual purity of the youth in our ward. My biannual youth interviews with my bishop consisted of a long battery of questions deeply probing my activities. The most invasive and lengthy part of the interviews was a series of questions…

#154 Matthew M. CS: 1,2,3,7,8

I joined the church when I was 12 years old, I had never masturbated or looked at pornography. I was certainly old enough to partake in these activities, I just had not arrived “there” yet. I was still a child who had not reached puberty. I had no idea that within a year my sexuality…

#150 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,7,8

The first time I was asked about masturbation, specifically, by a bishop, I was 12 years old. It was before my first temple trip, in a recommend interview. I understand that some people who support this practice think that the one-on-one interviews, (away from parents) are an opportunity for children who are being abused at…

#148 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

I started masturbating at age 13 or so. When I was first masturbating, I don’t think I even knew what I was really doing, let alone the idea that I was ‘sinning’. Shortly after, I realized/learned that it was a sin, and between bishopric changes, and ward splits, etc. I ended up having four different…

#145 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10. Other: Loss of confidence in spiritual leadership.

I will never forget when a young inexperienced bishop’s counselor took it upon himself to come into our Deacons Quorum and “warn” us against the horrors of masturbation. This lesson was not in the manual. To this day, I have no idea why he felt compelled or authorized to give us such a lesson. I…

#144 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7. Other: Suffered a crisis of faith. Bitterness toward LDS faith. Years of inactivity. Difficulty trusting LDS leaders. Damage to emotional and spiritual well being. Difficulty trusting men.

At different times in my life I have confided in several bishops about various spiritual and emotional concerns. Throughout my youth, and young adulthood, I have never had an interview with a bishop where the topic of chastity hasn’t turned into an inappropriate conversation. As a teen, in order to qualify for different rights of…

#138 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

My story starts in a place I imagine many stories start. In the bath tub. It was around five years old that I first discovered that playing with myself felt really good. It was also the beginning of a childhood wracked with intense guilt, shame and self loathing. “Dinkin” around in the bath, I heard…

#135 Rachael CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8,9. Other: Shamed, rather than helped, after a rape

I was sexually abused at age 4 and again at age 7 by members of the Church. I learned early that extreme compliance was the way to keep safe. I was also raised to believe that bishops represented God in everything they said and did and that I could not be forgiven without seeing a…