#218 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

I hesitated to write my story because I wasn’t sexually abused. I decided to write it though, because my experience around these interviews has been a big contributor to my depression and constant feelings of shame. I remember my first orgasm at 12 years old. I was downstairs watching TV and I was flipping through…

#217 D. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

The mission and stories of this website have validated my pain and my experience. This validation has brought about so much healing in my heart. This validation has empowered me to finally stand up to my shame and to stand up to the beliefs, people, and experiences which generated and nurtured my shame and say…

#215 Curtis C. CS: 1,2,7,8

Bishop and church GA’s shaming over masturbation caused me such self loathing over my inability to remain “pure” that I suffered from deep depression and frequent contemplation of suicide for most of my teen years. I blamed my depression on my wickedness (as the church taught), but could not stop the vicious cycle. It was…

#214 Name Withheld. CS: 1,2,4,7,8

I was born in Salt Lake City, raised LDS. I’m 34 now. I have been atheist for almost a decade. Around 14 I experimented with another boy. I had my worthiness interview with the bishop. When asked if I keep The Law of Chastity I tearfully confessed to what I had been taught was a…

#211 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,4,8

My bishop was hardcore on the masturbation interviews. They started at 10 because he wanted to be sure that he could “identify worthiness issues” before we became deacons. In my interviews, my bishop started with 20-30 minutes of explaining what masturbation was – graphically describing how it could happen without us using our hands, that…

#210 Landon H. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10

Sam, July 2nd of 2017 was the first day I had been sober in over a decade. Between drugs and alcohol I had a heavy regiment of self-medication. There was good reason for that self-medicating. I continue that sobriety and am on day 205 as I compile this story the best I can. 2 1/2…

#209 Melissa B. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8,9

I was eight years old when I was sexually abused, I didn’t even understand what had happened really, I just knew it felt wrong and scary. I was very confused and somehow decided it was my fault because I had been baptized. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened, I was ashamed, I thought no…

#208 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

Growing up LDS, sex and sexual topics were a taboo topic that we never talked about in our home. When I began to experience sexual feelings, I felt like I must be a pervert. I was a young girl and young girls weren’t supposed to have such thoughts and feelings. It was understandable for boys…

#204 Michelle. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10. Other: Self harm

My story starts with me realizing early in my elementary years, that I liked boys and girls. I was also sexually abused by an older child during first grade. I told no one of the abuse until I was almost 30, except one bishop. A bishop who simply had no training or experience probably, with…