#43 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,8

I began masturbating around 10 years old. The guilt started around that time. As my 12th birthday got closer and I started thinking about my interviews to become a deacon, I became suicidal from the overwhelming guilt of masturbating and looking at porn (in the form of Victoria’s Secret catalogs, before high speed internet). For…

#41 Name Hidden. CS: 1,3,8

My duration at the Provo MTC was from September through November of 2008. Each and every day there were lessons, videos, talks, activities, and speakers which all focused on personal worthiness, and that all success as a missionary depends on that worthiness. The result was a constant and immense feeling of guilt, insecurity, and failure…

#39 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8 Other: Ideation about self-mutilation

On average, from age 5 to 28, I considered suicide and/or self-mutilation roughly once a week, in part because I was subjected to these interviews. I encountered some of the church’s teachings about sexual sin early on, and as early as age 5 (I was molested by another child a few years older than me—as…

#38b Name Hidden CS: 1,2,4,7,8

What a terrible policy that needs to be changed- These specific questions have caused me so much unneeded stress and anxiety because what kind of 13 year old wants to talk about this stuff when they know if they slip up everyone in deacons quorum is going to know exactly why you didn’t pass the…

#15 Britt L. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8

When I was being interviewed to enter young women’s at the age of 12, I was brought into a room with the lights turned off to speak with a member of the bishopric. He asked me the usual questions, things about tithing, reading scriptures, etc.  I was so nervous that I would answer the questions…

#11 Max C. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9

At 5 years of age, I was caught playing doctor with the neighbor girl. It was pretty innocent, up to that point I had no idea boys and girls were different. But, we got caught and that’s when the shaming began. I remember that night, my mom told me that “God was ashamed of me.”…

#10 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8. Other: Mental illness-scrupulosity, including delusions regarding sexuality

I was harmed by the church’s teachings regarding sexuality, including invasive interviews on sexual topics. I was a very well-behaved child. I didn’t do anything beyond occasional masturbation. I honestly believed I had committed a sin “next to murder.” I spent years sure I was going to hell. I discussed things with bishops that they…

#6 Donna H. CS: 1,2,3,6,7,8

I was about 16. I had a blind date with someone who proclaimed to be a returned missionary. He was returned missionary but he was a predator. I was pressured into doing many things. All in a hotel room that I was under the assumption we were picking his friends up there. I felt so…

#2 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,5,6,7,8,9

My interview at 12 where I was asked if I had morality problems, and when I asked what that meant was asked, do you touch yourself when you are naked or let others touch you. Do you watch dirty movies, do you have sexual thoughts? I remember how gross and uncomfortable I felt. Especially considering…