I was about 15. I was sitting with the Stake President for a recommend to do baptisms for the dead. HE asked me if I had ever had sexual relations. I said no. He asked me if I was masturbating. I said no. I was mortified. He was my dad’s best friend! I could never tell him that I was! He asked me if I had wet dreams. Clearly I had, but was SO embarrassed and thought it was wrong… so I said no. He then explained to me the science of “Nocturnal Emissions” and said that if I’m not having these types of dreams, then I’m clearly lying about one of the other two things.
I’ll never forget that day. I was humiliated and shamed. I left his office believing that I was a dirty boy who was sinning in the eyes of God. I struggled for YEARS with SO much shame around sex and sexuality. For more than 30 years I was deeply affected. IT affected every relationship I had for many years.