Even though I was a fatherless Mormon Boy, my Mormon childhood was great all the way up until the dreadful day my testes started to produce semen and that is when my LDS nightmare began. It would happen naturally and I could not stop it from becoming erect. The Church had assigned a convert man to marry my Mom and he did not have the mental capacity to help me though puberty and instead went and told his friend the Bishop that I was masturbating. This Bishop was a huge man with naked lady tattoos on his forearms who stood well over 6’4″ feet tall and around 400 pounds and one morning in Seminary, our Seminar instructor announced that the Bishop had something important to say to us and he walked right up in front of me and looked right down at me and said “I hear some of you boys are masturbating” and he raised his voice as he yelled at me in front of 2 dozen kids, in the combined ward seminary class and said …”You Better Stop it!”.
I turned bright red and started to openly weep in front of everyone, while some of the Boys who had Fathers laughed at me in my state of public humiliation.
I thought I was a good boy and did not know I was evil. The Giant Bishop with the naked lady tattoos then grunted approval and handed all the boys in the room a little white booklet by Boyd K Packer called “For Mormon Boys only” that said if I only would pray and sing Hymns then my erections would subside and go away and if I touched my erection it would lead to homosexuality.
If this physiological form of mind control was an attempt to turn me gay or make my erection go away, it did not work, I only was attracted to Girls. However, I then believed I was a sexual pervert and that the Mormon God hated me because I liked girls. I was a virgin until I was 19 and saw every Girl I loved in church or in school get their first kiss and first romance and sex from the Boys at school outside the church as I tried to maintain my virtue even to the point where I became socially ill functional even with LDS Girls.
A rich Pretty Stake Presidents Daughter attacked me at EFY and I was so scared her chaperone would tell my mom that I liked this girl sexually and wanted to be with her, that I walked off on her and left her standing on the dance floor looking like a fool and went in hid in my BYU dorm watching all the other kids make out and do heavy petting in the dorm lounge on the couches. I was so lonely and miserable that I wanted to commit suicide until at 19 I left the church and was raped by Girls who were hookers. I Joined the US Navy to escape the terror of my miserable Mormon childhood and once away from the church I found out that I was still a good young man. I discovered that God and Jesus are very real and that they loved me and never hated me at all for being a Man. That is what my Heavenly Father made me, to be a man and he and the True King of Israel lifted me up out of the tomb.
I have renounced the teachings of Packer and Nelson as a special gateway to salvation and I now have the greatest Father in the universe.