I knew I was gay as early as I was 8. All I knew is that what I felt was wrong and evil. That was constantly reiterated at church for the next decade of my life. The amount of self loathing and shaming was crippling at times. No one knew. When I was 11, I…
I was baptized at 8, like all the other kids who were raised in the church did. When I was 9 I was raped by my brother over the span of almost a year. My parent’s had caught him in the act and instead of involving law enforcement they just sat us down and told…
I had just turned 12 years old. My sister was the Laurel President and absolutely loved the Young Women’s program in our LDS faith. I was so excited to share this with my sister. Just like other youth my age, it was time for me to be interviewed by my Bishop. He was a young…
I am one of the many men who was repeatedly sexually shamed in interviews. This line of specific and graphic sexual questioning took place since I was 12 years old and lasted until after my mission. I was grilled about it explicitly by bishops, stake presidents, mission presidents, and young men’s leaders. Even now as…
I had been molested by one of my brothers friends for several years between 11 & 14. This boy would sneak into my bedroom at night when he thought I was asleep. We finally moved and I felt it was something I needed to talk to someone about it but didn’t feel comfortable talking to…
My uncle started molesting me when I was 6 years old. At my 8 year baptismal interview I “confessed” what my uncle was doing. My bishop told me he would make sure and “handle it”, and stressed the importance of my baptism and how it would “wash me clean again.” It continued for years…. When…
Like most children do, at the age of 11 or 12 I began feeling sexual urges within myself. I’ve come to learn that these urges are normal and are a part of our bodies maturing into adulthood in preparation for sex. But, what I didn’t know at the time was that anyone else ever felt…
When I was 16, I went to what was supposed to be a slumber party at a friend’s house, with parental permission. There, I was confronted with adult men present for a “party.” I was drugged and raped by two of the men. My parents could tell something was wrong with me over the next…
I started masturbating when I was 9 years old, a few years later I was house sitting for a neighbor and watched pornography alone on their VHS tapes. I read the book “the worth of a soul” and thought that I was destined for outer darkness. In any Bishop’s interview I ever had as a…
I remember being called in for an interview with the bishop when I was about fourteen. He said it was an interview to lead the Teachers’ Quorum. He got to the question of the law of chastity and asked if I was keeping it. “Yes.” “Do you masturbate?” He asked the question as he stared…