If you were with me in Utah right now, I would walk you out past my old neighborhood thru a farmer’s field about a quarter of a mile to the back edge of the field where an irrigation canal passes thru and a clump of trees still grows there today. One tree that’s there which…
This is my story for all the men and women who’s hearts and souls are broken because of men at church. This My story for you. I didn’t know who he was until he was my leader, before then, he was the new kid’s dad. He told us stories about him, about his violence. I…
I left TSCC in my early 20s almost 45 years ago. My parents were “pioneers” of Mormonism in a small Australian city, hence branch presidents and later bishops were well known to the whole family. I was asked as a 12,13,14 year old if I “self abused”. I did not know what that meant. It…
I was ~middle school age when my Mormon leaders started bringing this stuff up and asking me about the same stuff. Wish I’d known back then how messed up it was. In my case. My father drove me late at night to have an “emergency interview” with our Mormon bishop when they found some “magazines”…
I’m a pretty sexual person. I don’t know if it’s a consequence of my youth or whether it’s just how I am and I was made to feel ashamed of something that is just natural for me. When I was 14 I ‘sinned’ with a boy in my stake. My mum found out because I…
When I was in high school I was sexually assaulted by a classmate. When this happened I was totally naive to anything sexual in nature, so obviously I didn’t quite understand what had happened to me or that what had happened was not a normal sexual experience. After some time of feeling guilt, I went…
I remember a dimly lit room where I was interviewed quickly for baptism at 8 years old. My parents were ‘inactive’ and the first I heard of what I was agreeing to was in that interview. I was told I was promising to never sin again. I had a fight with my sister that night…
I was a new missionary at the MTC. The MTC President groomed the sister missionaries by constantly praising and complementing us as if he had us on a pedestal. At the same time he was very controlling over our behavior. He wouldn’t allow us to talk much to the Elders and we couldn’t laugh. He…
I was a very good child always trying to please God and took everything to heart that church leaders said! The guilt and shame of the interviews still even though I had done nothing wrong carried into my adult years reflecting sex as gross and disgusting. I got married at age 25 (which was old…
I’ve faced mental illness for as long as I can remember. Depression, social anxiety/phobia disorder, auditory hallucinations, etc. And on top of everything, I’m a bisexual male who was raised Mormon. I had a hard time coming out to my family because they’re Mormon, and I knew the kind of response I’d receive, but after…