I suffered domestic violence since the first year of my marriage til the very last day of my marriage. 8 years of terror, fear and hell. The day I told him I want the divorce he raped me. He hoped I would get pregnant and wouldn’t leave him. I was called in every Sunday for…
Due to the detailed questions, interrogations and guilt shaming I received as a youth in the church, I know have psychological issues with intimacy. I had sex with my husband on our honeymoon and cried because I felt like I had committed a sin….I felt dirty. As a young teen I recall being asked very…
I still have not yet recovered from the damage these interviews caused me when I was younger. It damaged my confidence, shamed me from such an early age and caused me mental problems well into adulthood. At age 11, I attempted suicide because I thought I wasn’t “worthy” enough to go to heaven with my…
My experience going through the Young Men’s program in the LDS Church in California was probably about as good as it could be. I feel very fortunate to have had good leaders and a good father. Scouting was an important part of my experience. However, there is no question that matters of sexual development had…
When I was 15 I was physically forced into having sex with a 20 year old friend of my brothers who had been flirting with me and following me for weeks. I felt confused and wanted to talk to someone. I had a crush on this older guy but was too young for what had…
I rarely had an interview by a bishop or by my own dad that was a bishop that didn’t have some extent of very uncomfortable questions having to do with boys and girls and sexuality. Fortunately I was never asked about masturbation but repeatedly asked over and over about sexual relations. Those did not even…
Growing up LDS, you are taught that sexual sins are one of the worst sins a person can commit, right below murder. When I realized at the age of 12 that by masturbating, I was almost as evil as a murderer, I was filled with so much shame. I was so filthy. I was worse…
While I was at college I felt extreme guilt for masturbation. Because of the LDS culture, I was raised to believe I had to confess my sins to the bishop. I went to my bishop and confessed that I had been masturbating. It was also expected to give detail, so I even included details of…
My story is about the pain of ignorance- how we can hurt and be hurt by our false beliefs. It is about how I was hurt when I was sexually assaulted by my LDS boyfriend but blamed myself. It is about how I was hurt by my bishop who was not trained to see my…
While my story is a bit different, I feel compelled to tell it to you in hopes that maybe it will show light on another issue facing youth within the LDS faith. One day, while my regular teacher was out for a teaching conference, my class and I were substituted by a different. He was…