I was something of a perfectionist as a child with a strong desire to please God and my family. My youthful guilt dwelled on typical experiences, amounting to no more than childhood disagreements and misunderstandings. One focus of my guilt, which went beyond the norm, was my theft of a pack of gum. My sister…
Incentivize me to lie. Teach me to hate myself. When in my teens, I was asked if and how often I would masturbate. As a young kid, I didn’t have the right understanding or language to answer accurately. I learned to hate a part of myself. I felt like I was living a double life…
When I 14 years old my mom caught me looking at pornography. Because of this my parents made me meet with our Bishop. I did not feel comfortable doing this but at the time felt that it was what I had to do really, because my parents told me I had to. My meeting with…
During an interview with a bishop (approximately 14 years old), I was asked if I “practiced self abuse”. I had no idea what that even meant. I remember talking about it at dinner with my parents that night. I thought it was strange that the bishop thought I physically abused myself. Years later I googled…
I’ve been wanting to share with you my experience with the baptismal interview I had at the age of 10. I was currently being sexually abused by a close family member. The Bishop worthiness interview is something I’ll never forget. When he asked me if I was having sex with family members, I froze. I…
When I was a teenager, my bishop asked me if I was involved in masturbation. I had no idea what that meant. He explained it to me in detail. At my next interview, he asked me about masturbation again. I still did not understand. So he proceeded to describe it again. I was very uncomfortable…
I was made to feel I was the ONLY ONE of all the deacons, teachers & priests who had ever masturbated. My bishop scheduled interviews without my parents’ knowledge, and I had to go to his house, alone, to talk to him. I was shamed. I thought I was the worst person alive, and probably…
When I was 16, I had sex with my boy friend, my bishop at the time told me that no worthy return missionary would ever have me. DEVASTATING my world! The SHAME was overwhelming! My hopes/dreams in all that I’d been taught/molded to live for!!! Within 2 years I had ‘found’ an older (18 YEARS…
Around my eighth birthday I was excited to be baptized. The plan was my father would baptize me. Both he and my grandfather would be there on Sunday for confirmation. Since I was born in April, it felt good to be joining the ranks of my older classmates. I don’t remember exactly which day the…
I joined the church as a 21-year-old woman who had been sexually active prior to joining. After my baptism I struggled with masturbation. I went to my YSA branch president after each time crying and repenting. Lots of self-loathing, shame and mostly guilt. Fast forward a few years and I was married. My husband was…