When thinking about my baptism, I remember a few things about that day, but there is one huge thing I think about that day. Guilt. Down right guilt. That’s all I thought about that entire experience. I was supposed to be washed of my sins and be perfect. But I wasn’t perfect, nor would I…
Attempted suicide multiple times as if you lust its as if you’ve already done it. and if a man lays with another man you are condemned. I was taught that every time I had a gay thought that i was going to hell for it. Being a horny teenager and trying not to have any…
My story is nothing special. I didn’t look at pornography in my teens, but I woke up from a wet dream when I was 13 and reproduced it in the shower not long after. I later discovered that it was termed masturbation and learned in Sunday school, “For the Strength of Youth”, and Teacher’s quorum…
Story #2. I was in 8th grade (13) when I had my first ecclesiastical interview. My uncle & his family had come from Seattle to do temple work, & he decided I was old enough to do baptisms with my cousins. I don’t remember being asked. My mom set up temple recommend interviews. I felt…
The story that has impacted my life the most is my husband’s story. He and I met when he was 28 (I was 25) and it was basically love at first sight. After 3 weeks of dating he told me that he had been addicted to pornography/masturbation since he was 13. He told me about…
I looked at pornography in high school. My dad got a confession out of me by lying to me and saying that he would drive me to mutual but instead drove into a dark alley. He pinned me in a corner and forced me to confess. When I did confess to my bishop he told…
My bishop asked me if I engaged in masturbation when I was about 12-13. He told me I can’t have the spirit with me if I don’t confess. I denied I ever did and left his office. I had constant guilt for years because “I’m so bad, not even God wants to comfort me.” I…
When I turned 12 I had my first interview with the bishop so I could become a deacon. He asked if I masturbated. I had never heard that word spoken before, certainly not in a question directed to me. I must have looked puzzled because he then asked if I knew what that was. I…
Trigger Warning: child sex abuse. This is about church teachings being used by my abuser. I grew up in a small Mormon town and was an innocent and naive child. When I was in grade 3, 8 years old, a teenage neighbor boy trapped me in my grandpa’s barn & molested me. I didn’t know…
I hesitate to relate this history, to talk explicitly about matters of a sexual nature, but am compelled to do so because church leaders did not hesitate to invade my young life with explicit words and judgments! My story; Deacon, teacher, priest, elder, mission, 2 temple marriages that ended in divorce, single, approaching retirement.. First…