Sam, there was a discussion on the RFM board the other day about whether sexual abuse always leaves you broken. I felt compelled to finally tell my story but did it anonymously. And even though I know it was easy to tell that I was writing my own story, I had to tell it in…
I remember vividly when I was asked by my bishop if I was masturbating. I was a 12 year old girl and he a man in his 40s. I remember just feeling so embarrassed and uncomfortable I couldn’t even look at him. It felt like there was so much emphasis on being pure when I…
I experienced incredible shame over masturbation. Barely a teenager, the scripture in Matthew 5:29-30 became constant in my mind: 29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should…
I grew up as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints in the UK. I remember the Bishop’s interviews very intrusive and embarrassing and also I felt violated looking back now as an adult. I grew up in a ward that there were many leaders men who were very egotistical and…
I never was asked explicit sexual questions in bishop’s interviews, but I feel such pain and anguish with every story shared here, and with the experiences of my loved ones. The constant barrage of chastity lessons in Mutual taught me that sexual feelings were evil, that we needed to be pure in thought at all…
I received heavy doses of shaming at the hands of leaders. I was made to feel ashamed of my body, and my natural urges. I got asked numerous times behind closed doors with leaders if I masturbated. I usually lied. Before my mission, a leader at the MTC wanted to hear all the details of…
When I was a young man, I couldn’t stop masturbating. It was just too hard, and I was too weak. Guilt destroyed me. I sinning in a way that was so bad it was “second only to murder”. I considered suicide after I had been clean for a while, but I was too scared that…
When I was 15 and in my sophomore year of high school, I had a nonmormon best friend who happened to be a boy (which was a sort of “scandalous” thing in my ward). It was a normal bestfriendship and we spent a lot of time together during school and after school. I was already…
Was asked only once if I masturbate after being asked if I follow the Law of Chasity. I fell into complete silence and the man interviewing me proceeded to ask if I knew what masturbation was. I sat in that chair trying hard to recall the word from a health class but kept thinking of…
I was raised a Mormon. My mother was born in Utah. I had very strict grandmother and I felt pressured to speak about my masturbation habits and my porn watching. It lead me to lose my sarcament privileges which made me feel isolated from the other boys in my ward. The bishop was tough and…