#504 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,7

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

When I was twelve years old a male leader came to our Sunday School class. One by one, he took each child out of class to have a talk with the bishop. No parental permission. No “voluntary” confession (these assembly-line interviews with probing questions are at odds with the practice of voluntary “confession”). I can’t…

#503 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,7. Other: Distrust of Leaders

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I didn’t know what masturbation was until I was a teenager, but found out that I had been doing it since I was six on an off again. At young women’s some girls introduced me to erotic novels and I ended up reading a few. I felt horribly guilty afterward and talked to the bishop.…

#499 Trevor C. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

Protect LDS Children: My Story, Trevor Cobb, March 25, 2018 Around 1992-1993, when I was a deacon in Olney, Maryland, my mom caught me looking at a Playboy in the bathroom. Since I was 7-8 years old I had been riding my bike with the Mormon neighbor boy, _______, who was four years my senior…

#498 Name Hidden. 1,2,3,4,6,7,8. Other: Fear/High anxiety of Leadership interviews, and Church attendance, job interviews, Therapy, Psychiatry appointments, and Doctor’s appointments alone.

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

  The earliest I have a memory of abuse was at the age of ​6​. ​ ​ At age 7, I ​ remember​ ​preparing for baptism, ​​I was excited, I was optimistic that my sins would now be washed away, so now I could start a new life. Such a fairy tale I told myself!…

#495 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

Many years ago during a family trip to San Francisco where we walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, 11-year-old me stopped and peered down into the still, gently swirling water and tried to talk myself out of throwing my body into the soothing void. It seemed such an easy way to release the suffering that…

#494 Brittany D. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8.

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

To begin, I will say that I was three when a man first took away my sexual agency. My father, a pedophile, showed me porn that included Rape, origies, and children. Fast forward, to age 12, when I had my first worthiness interview. Somehow, it felt normal, because it was for a group youth trip…

#493 Amanda M. CS: 1,2,3,4,6,7,8

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

When I was 14 I reported my rape to my bishop. Except since I was 14 I didn’t know it was rape. I wasn’t even really sure what happened. My bishop, a man who I believe was doing his best, was untrained in such matters. I repented. For my rape. My rape went unreported and…

#492 Name Hidden. CS: 1,2,3,4,7,8. Other: impaired sexuality even still 15 years later/unable to feel confident and free of shame for my body and it’s normal healthy functions; I based my entire adult and sex life on how others *might* view me, instead of what I want and need for myself in that private & personal part of my life–which is NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINESS!!

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

I was born into the LDS church, raised and lived my whole life in the heart of LDS country, Utah County. There’s no escaping the influence of LDS church because it is everywhere here, and most people are LDS. This type of situation leads to feeling like you are in an inescapable bubble of shame…

#490 Name Hidden. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. Other: Loss of will to live and dying of a terminal illness.

1. Inappropriate shame and guilt, 2. Childhood self-loathing, 3. Adulthood self-loathing, 4. Grooming, 5. Sexual abuse, 6. Impaired sexual relations after marriage, 7. Years of recovery from childhood shaming, 8. Suicide Ideation, 9. Attempted Suicide, Consequence StoriesLeave a comment

Upon my son’s cancer diagnosis at age 15 he said he did not want to live. He said he was a bad person. He then recounted the many times his bishop and seminary teacher had talked to him about “touching himself” over the previous 3 1/2 years. I was devastated and heart broken to know…