When I was younger, I was LDS and my main goal in life was to be married in the temple.
Around the age of 14, I can remember wanting to go with the prom with a boy that was older than me and I knew that it was going to hard to convince my parents. But somehow I was able to do it. I can remember getting into my white dress and being so excited for my first prom. After arriving to the prom, my date took me to a group of people that I didn’t know very well. He was a big football star and they were all friends of his. After only being there about 15 minutes, he informed me that we were going to a house party. I knew this wasn’t good. My parents didn’t allow me to go to House Parties. Once we got there, there were people drinking and smoking and once again I knew I was in a bad place. I just sat on the couch for a while and soon my date came up to me and asked me to go to a bedroom so that we could talk. There were many warning signs but I didn’t want to seem like a little girl so I gave in. I soon realized how drunk my date was and he kept forcing himself upon me and I kept telling him no after a short period of time he just tied my arms with his necktie and pulled my dress up over my head and had his way with me. When he was finished he simply got up and left the room. The rest of the night was a blur. All I can remember was sitting in the room and after a while someone came in and asked me if I needed a ride home.
The following Sunday I made an appointment with my Bishop so that I could talk to him about what had happened. The term date rape was not used back then. So I can remember telling him that I had had sex but I did not want to. One of the first things he asked me was why I was dating, you know better. Then he asked me if the boy was a member of the church, when I told him no he told me I knew better.
But the worst thing I can remember him telling me was that he knew how bad I wanted to get married in the temple and now I would not be able to find a worthy young man that would want to take me there. I can remember feeling so horrible and never wanting anybody to know about that situation . I felt that it was all my fault and if I would had just made better choices this never would have happened .
I was never able to get over this and I soon left the church and headed down a path of drugs and alcohol which continued for 15 of my adult years. I have now been sober for 10 years but I have often wondered how my life would have changed if the bishop would have taken the time to make me feel better, tell my parents . He should have told that 14 year old little girl how sorry he was that this happened to her, that it was not my fault , but instead he just made me feel like a dirty used piece of chewing gum. My parents never found out until I was 40 years old about what it happened and why I suddenly took that path at that young age in my life. They were heart broken. I feel like I was victimized twice, once by the boy from the date and then by a bishop that I trusted more than anything at that point in my life.