I had been molested by one of my brothers friends for several years between 11 & 14. This boy would sneak into my bedroom at night when he thought I was asleep. We finally moved and I felt it was something I needed to talk to someone about it but didn’t feel comfortable talking to my parents so at 14 I decided to talk to my Bishop. This specific Bishop totally brushed it off like it was no big deal. He made it sound like my molester was probably just young and stupid. I was just really confused. I spent the next year or so trying to forgive him and move on. The problem was I blamed myself and it had changed my perception of sex. I had dark fantasies and would sometimes hurt myself to punish myself for these. During a yearly interview when he was asking his questions I brought up that I sometimes had dark thoughts. He then asked me to describe them. I did in pretty great detail.
I honestly never thought much about it until the protect LDS children thing came out but now that I look back I can completely see what was going on. This also totally affected the rest of my life. I know this Bishop didn’t molest me but he absolutely took the side of my perpetrator. He also should never have asked about my fantasies. It’s made me feel like any thought I had about sex was wrong and that as a woman it was my job to keep me from having dirty thoughts about me.
It also makes me wonder how many untrained Bishop’s are asked to counsel on things like this and have no idea what to say. A neighbor should not be the one you go to when you’re struggling with sin. It’s unfair to the child and unfair to the Bishop.