My uncle started molesting me when I was 6 years old. At my 8 year baptismal interview I “confessed” what my uncle was doing. My bishop told me he would make sure and “handle it”, and stressed the importance of my baptism and how it would “wash me clean again.”
It continued for years…. When a new bishop was called (or maybe wards split, fuzzy on those specifics) during my tithing settlement interview one on one with my new bishop I asked him why HF (heavenly father) was still letting me get hurt. My bishop asked if I had told anyone about it, and I told him my prior bishop knew. He told me HF was testing me and when I proved valiant to him, the abuse would end. This set me into a lifetime of sexual abuse.
In high school I got into partying. One night after a game there was a house party at a friends house. A bunch of the Mormon football players were there, and I was a very vulnerable freshman. Long story short I was “tag teamed” (as they put it) by one of the boys and his friend. It was very brutal and highly embarrassing. Because I had been drinking i was afraid to tell anyone. The boys went to school and bragged about it and making sure the entire school heard about it and knew I was a “easy fuck”. A very active LDS friend of mine felt it her duty to tell our bishop of my “sins”. I was called into a court of love and placed on probation which stripped me of my YW callings, taking sacrament, and praying in Sunday school etc. Those same boys both went on missions. I learned early on what happened when I told the truth to a bishop.
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