When I was 16, I went to what was supposed to be a slumber party at a friend’s house, with parental permission. There, I was confronted with adult men present for a “party.” I was drugged and raped by two of the men.
My parents could tell something was wrong with me over the next couple of weeks and brought me in to the bishop. I did not feel comfortable telling the bishop what happened to me. I couldn’t even tell my parents, the police, or my friends. After a while of my silence in response to his questions, the bishop gave me a blessing in which he told me that I would be happier if I would be more chaste. After the blessing, he told me the loss of sexual purity could be damning, and to reevaluate my course.
I was told by a bishop, who had no idea if I was sexually active or not, who had no idea I had been raped, that I was unhappy because I was unchaste. Two weeks post-rape
This led me to believe for years that I deserved being raped. This led me to believe for years that I was responsible for being raped. It was only at 33 years old with non-church therapy that I was able to let go of that guilt and burden. It will take more therapy to get over the anger towards the untrained, ignorant man who caused so many years of pain.