Starting at a very young age, I dealt with many family issues and depression which soon led me at a young age to seek love and approval from boys. At the age of 13, I participated in sexual activity but not actual intercourse. My father was actually the bishop at the time when my parents went though my text messages and found out about what had happened. I was FORCED against my wanting to meet with my own father as bishop in very uncomfortable meetings where I had to explain to my own dad/bishop all the things I did in very descriptive detail. I felt gross and terrible. This went on for the course of 7 months where every week I would meet and talk about it, what I’m doing to clean myself from my sin and whether I truly feel guilty or not. I began self harm and suicidal thinking. I even attempted suicide at one point but got into counseling and onto antidepressants.
Years later, now in a stable relationship, and I still have panic attacks and anxiety over sexual activity because of how brainwashed I was into thinking how evil it was.