I grew up in the LDS church. My sister still practices and is active in the church. My parents are semi-active. I left the church as an adult after realizing that I did not agree with the practices of the LDS church. I was subject to intensively intimidating interviews such as this and realized how much shame I had been living with my entire life. I had a skewed idea of normal sexual relations as a child and an adult.
I married an LDS male, I won’t dignify him with calling him a man. The marriage was abusive and it took me 15 years of verbal and mental abuse to realize the continued shame was not OK and I deserved better. The church accustomed me to accepting shame, accepting a patriarchy power, and believing this was normal.
I was well into my 30’s and had been going to therapy before I came to the realization of this cycle of shame and was able to break the cycle. It resulted in a horrible divorce and I loathe my ex-husband who is the father of my children. My children were damaged by growing up with an abusive household and relationship of their parents.
I have so many regrets in my life that I believe were decisions I made based on how the LDS church groomed my thinking and beliefs. I, probably wrongly, blame my parents for raising me in the church and allowing these practices/interviews to occur without any other adult present. I heavily blame myself almost every day for being so stupid that I let myself be in an abusive relationship and subject my children to it for 15 years. I blame the LDS church and I clearly recall every situation of intimidation and shame I experienced at the hands of my bishops and leadership of the LDS church ward I grew up in.