My story is too long so I’m writing a book. To offer some insight I can tell you that my father was taking religious classes at BYU from 1959 -1967 and during that time he was taught secret doctrine that fed his narcissism and he began sexually abusing me when I was three. He would recite complex theology to me as he forced me to touch his genitals. By the time I was in 4th grade I was anally raped so often I could not sit flat on the chair. He was appointed the Bishop when I was 9 and the encounters escalated. By then my mind had split so many times because that’s what it does when it can’t hold anymore. He drove my mom to madness and his insanity is a big part of why 2 of my siblings are dead. To this day he really believes that I belong to him and that I am worthless because I rebelled.