When I was 18 years old I confessed to my bishop that my boyfriend and I had been having sex. It was terrifying to be a teenage girl, fresh out of high school, alone with a man I hardly knew, talking about sex. My own parents never even talked to me about sex
After confessing, the bishop started asking me some extremely uncomfortable questions. I had scheduled and attended that appointment because I truly believed that my confession was part of the repentance process. I had been taught that this man, the bishop, was called of God to help me, so I assumed he needed to know all of the details in order for me to be fully forgiven. The bishop wanted to know how many times my boyfriend and I had sex, where we were having sex, if we performed oral sex, if I was having orgasms, and where my boyfriend ejaculated. He then gave me a priesthood blessing, told me to read “The Miracle of Forgiveness”, refrain from taking the sacrament, and to stop dating my boyfriend. I now felt completely worthless. I contemplated suicide, but couldn’t get myself to follow through. I had no one to talk to about my problem. I had been banned from seeing my boyfriend and I couldn’t possibly tell my parents what I was going through.
That original bishop’s interview happened almost three decades ago. That was the beginning of a LIFE full of shame, impaired sexual relations after marriage, self-loathing and suicide ideation. These one-on-one, sexually explicit interviews need to stop NOW!