First, I must declare that I have OCD so fear of diseases and contamination has a psychological dimension, not just a religious one. I can’t blame the LDS church for all my problems.
I was brought up in the LDS church in Wales by my mother. My father refused to be a member. One day when I was 15 she arranged for me to have a private interview with the local bishop about masturbation and sexual feelings. He approached the subject sympathetically but reminded me that chastity was important and breaking the laws of chastity was one down from murder on the Mormon sin index. I was told that this included masturbation as well as sex outside marriage.
I accepted what he said as fact. This had a devastating effect on me in my twenties when I left Wales to live in England. For instance, I thought that if I had sex with a girl and caught AIDS I would be severely punished in the next life which would lead to eternal terror. Getting an HIV infection was bad enough in the 1980s, but to think that I would not only die young but I would also face an eternal hell was too much to bear.
I am now happily married but I still carry the guilt over sex even to this day. Luckily my wife is very understanding.
The Internet has much information these days about the lies of of the Mormon Church, it’s bizarre dishonest history, racial prejudice, Masonic traditions and polygamy. I feel much resentment about being a victim of the LDS cult, although I accept that most members are genuinely good people.