As a youth, there were very few times that I got free of the shame, guilt, and self loathing that accompanied worthiness interviews.
Before my mission, I thought I cleared everything up, but my mission president would ask inapropriate and deeply probing questions that caused me to question if I really had confessed everything. I felt the same guilt and shame that I felt growing up but even worse, because if the leader deemed me unworthy I would be sent home for everyone in my family and community to see. It was a sickening and fearful time in my life that was completely unnecessary.
Being forced to recount and share details of things in my life that were previously some of my happiest, innocent, youthful experiences and being told they were disgusting and shameful caused me a lot of emotional pain, especially since I felt like I had moved forward into a new chapter of my life with new understanding.
After serving a full time mission I came home and quickly went less active and have since left the church. I never want any child, teenager, or “adult” missionary fresh out of high school to have to feel the way I felt, whether they choose to live as an active member of the LDS faith or not.