I first joined the church at 19, at this time I was suffering from depression and anxiety and even though I hadn’t had all of the missionary lessons – due to my mother not wanting the missionaries in the house – after repeated requests and pressure from the missionaries I agreed to be baptised. I thought that me agreeing to be baptised would simply just entail me getting dunked in the water, I wasn’t prepared to be interviewed.
At church one week I was taken into a small room with a young Irish man I’d never seen before in my life. This alone made me anxious, he asked the usual questions which I was uncertain of as it was e.g.:
“Do you believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?” I answered, “well possibly, no one can prove anything either way, he could well have been.”
Then he reached the law of chastity question. I was taken aback that someone would ask me about sex. I was floored and said “Excuse me?”
He then asked have I ever had sex, I said yes, he asked if I had ever had an abortion, I was even more floored and was panicking at this point as I felt absolutely at a loss of what to do as I felt so pressured.
I answered that I was raped when I was 13 and the sexual abuse was ongoing, I fell pregnant and had to have an abortion at 14.
He then asked if I had REPENTED and was I sorry that I had had an abortion!?
I repeated “I was raped.”
He answered “But did you repent?”
I didn’t respond and he huffed and continued. I was shocked. I’m 30 now and I’m still angry. I have had interviews since then and have been asked probing questions since. This year I stopped attending and have since asked for my records to be removed. It all came to a head when I looked at my kids one day and just thought… I do not want them to go through the same thing.