I received heavy doses of shaming at the hands of leaders. I was made to feel ashamed of my body, and my natural urges. I got asked numerous times behind closed doors with leaders if I masturbated. I usually lied. Before my mission, a leader at the MTC wanted to hear all the details of my encounters with girls, the petting, etc. He wanted to know if it was over clothes, under, how long, where I kissed. It was all sick and shameful. My first marriage didn’t last long, largely in part to intimacy issues caused by being made ashamed of all things sexual. It’s taken me a couple decades away from the church to develop a healthy attitude towards sex and my body.
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