I had recently moved out of state to attend college when I was caught up in a sexual situation with a man in my dorm room. I performed oral sex on him and there were heavy petting and all of that stuff. After it happened I immediately was overcome with guilt. I made an appointment with my bishop to resolve the issue. What I did not expect were the sexually explicit questions I would be asked. He wanted to know if the man had ejaculated, whether he was going on a mission, whether I orgasmed or not, etc. I got the sense that he was enjoying this conversation. He pressed for more and more details, including how undressed I got and what parts of my body the boy has seen (???) I didn’t understand why he was so concerned with the boy when I was confessing MY sin and seeking reconciliation. He wanted me to tell the name of the boy because I mentioned that he was planning on going on a mission. I didn’t see how this was relevant. We were talking about me.
It was a 45-minute meeting of pure uncomfortable scrutiny. I told him every gritty detail of the encounter because he kept pressing for more information. After the entire ordeal, he told me to not take the sacrament for 3 weeks and to pray about it. Then he again asked me to reveal the boy whom I was involved with so he could speak to his bishop. Again, this had nothing to do with me or my salvation. He was more concerned about getting that boy on a mission.
Since this incident, I have left the church. This was one of many things that made my decision. Asking sexually explicit questions while alone in a room is not the way to help someone heal. It is wildly inappropriate and I cannot imagine a teenager being asked these same questions.