I was a 14 year old child. I was raped. Had just had a lesson on “virtue”, the week before. I was so traumatized. I didn’t tell my parents because of the whole “it would be better to have your child come home in a pine box than to lose their virtue”, rhetoric. I went to my bishop because I thought I had committed the sin second only unto murder.
I was asked if i was morally clean. I said no. He asked what happened. I told him that a boy I was acquaintances with had forced himself on me.
He asked what I had done to provoke the boy. He asked what I was wearing. He asked me to describe exactly what my rapist did to me. He asked me how I felt while it was happening. He asked if I orgasmed during the assault. He asked if I had had ever “done this” before. He asked if I liked it. Where did he, my rapist, put his hands? How many fingers did he put inside me?
Then he told me I had committed a serious sin and must repent for my part in it.
I was forced to repeat this in front of the bishop, his counselors and the clerk. Every time I was asked a question it was like being raped again. 6 months disfellowshipped.
That night I tried to kill myself, the first of many tries. Luckily, I never succeeded.
I can directly pinpoint years of suicidal ideation to this incident. My bishop should have called the police.He should have comforted me and helped me to see that it was an assault. No consent. Instead I was punished for my rape.
I know I am not alone in this. I know there are other survivors of sexual assault who have experienced the same issues with Mormon bishops. I cannot articulate the deep devastation this has caused.