As a teenager my parents found out that I was having relations with my boyfriend and forced me to see the bishop to confess my “sins”. I find it interesting that they refused to discuss anything with me and just wanted the bishop to be the barer of my news.
When I went in to see the bishop and started to share my story with him he immediately started taking notes, was sweating profusely and asked excessive details. I was desperate to please me parents and this was my first experience having to repent so I went along with it. I remember how nervous he looked and I felt like I was traumatizing him and myself all in the same moment. In hindsight though, the detailed questions he asked about my sexual experiences were totally inappropriate. He also kept asking if I had any same gender experiences and I repeatedly had to say no. I had to assure him several times that no I had not, and I could tell on his face he was disappointed.
The meeting went on for over an hour and I left feeling disgusted, ashamed of myself and definitely worse off than I was before entering in that room. I have suppressed that meeting for years trying to be complicit with the church and it’s way, but now that I have my own children I’m disgusted that this took place. Why was this grown man taking notes of a teenagers sexual experiences?
This practice puts children in a position of submissiveness towards grown males and set us up for a lifetime of unhealthy perception towards intimacy and relations with significant others. How am I supposed to teach my children to never be alone with an adult and to never let anyone take advantage of them while in the same breath sending them in to a closed door room with a grown man. This system is taking away our rights as parents and forcing us to chose between the church or our family. It needs to stop and it needed to stop decades ago.