When I was 17 I slipped with my older boyfriend. I told my parents what had happened and they told me it was bad enough I needed to confess to the bishop. I’d never had an issue talking to a bishop before because luckily my mom and I were close enough she told me when it was ok not to confess to something or just say yes or no to get through a childhood interview. So I knew this time would be different.
I never did find out if I’d be in trouble because after my confession, instead of hearing comfort and what I needed to do to repent, the questions began. “Did he go over or under the clothes” did he insert fingers?” Would you have liked him to use his fingers?” Do you ever use you fingers when alone?” Ew, no no no! Finally in tears I told him I was feeling disgusting and to please stop those types of questions he said “do you know why you’re crying? Because you’ve realized you’re a slut. Does anyone respect sluts? Will anyone marry a slut?” I got up against his protests and left.
But it didn’t end there. This bishop has both a daughter and a niece my age went to my school. I noticed people talking about me and laughing as I passed. My friend came up to me and said “you really shouldn’t tell your bishop things anymore” when I asked why, she told me that his daughter and niece were telling everyone that at Easter get together he had told everyone about what I’d said, in confidence, in his office! He didn’t keep it quiet like he was supposed to! The bullying over being called a slut and whore at school thanks to this bishop made me feel I could never face these people again and his words “who would marry a slut” kept repeating over and over and over in my head. All because I came close to going all the way with my boyfriend but we were smart and stopped before it got to that.
I went home and took 20 pain killers, 30 sleeping pills, slit my wrists and waited in the bathtub. I couldn’t go to school and I was never gettting married now. My parents knew and thought I was headed in the wrong direction and kept forcing the idea of more meetings with the bishop on me. I wasn’t going back to that man just to watch him gleefully ask for details, and hear “slut” again. When I told our stake president he said I was a liar. So no one was on my side. I just been through what, for and LDS teenager is one of the worst things ever, mad parents, told I’m never getting married, a bishop who can’t be trusted, a school full of people who kept calling me a slut, and no one to support me. Luckily my mom found me in time and the ER dr.s were able to get the pills out of my system and the bleeding to stop and I finished up my junior and senior years of high school through BYUs distance learning program and i was allowed to go inactive until we had a new bishop. But first time I went to church 3 years later I had an anxiety attack and had to leave sobbing. I have never been in a bishops interview since. I chose not to get married in the temple to avoid a worthiness interview. That one bishop changed the whole course of my young adult life.