My interview at 12 where I was asked if I had morality problems, and when I asked what that meant was asked, do you touch yourself when you are naked or let others touch you. Do you watch dirty movies, do you have sexual thoughts?
I remember how gross and uncomfortable I felt. Especially considering the bishop was my neighbor and I went to school with his kids. I refused to go to church for a while after that.
I was raped when I was 14 and became promiscuous. I tried to turn over a new leaf and went to the bishop for help. I was given the miracle of forgiveness, where I read that it is better to lose your life than to lose your virtue.
When I started Seminary and was told sex before marriage was a sin next to murder . This was in the 1980’s. I went through a long struggle with depression and self loathing that no amount of prayer and repentance seemed to ease. I never felt inadequate in the church, I now realize the damaging cycle of guilt and shame that is inherent in this church. I am happily a resigned member. My children have never entered into a dark paneled room behind a closed door and asked inappropriate questions by a man behind a desk. This is a disgusting practice that must stop!!!!!